Second Thoughts (Frozen Fic)

"Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little."
-Luke 7:47

"I... love you, Hans."

The four whispered words fell, piercing his frozen heart like a sword. Hans felt the breath drawn out of his lungs, his hand dropped from where it was holding Anna's chin, his knees crashed to the floor. But he felt nothing. How long had it been since someone had said those words?

Anna...

He couldn't look at her. Couldn't look at the girl he had doomed to die, the girl he was about to betray, the girl whose sister he planned to kill. The girl who had just drove him to his knees.

Anna...

"Hans? H-Hans... y-y-you're scaring m-me."

He hated it, hated hearing her chattering teeth, hating hearing how close she was to death. Already he could feel the cold radiating off her, and there was nothing he could do, and he had not cared. Had not... did not. He did not care. He never cared what happened to anyone.

Especially someone like her.

Anna...

She was a silly, naïve girl who lived with her head in the clouds, and who did everything without a moments hesitation. She thought she was like him, thought she knew what it was to be ignored, but she knew nothingabout him. Nothing.

Then why couldn't he face her?

"H-Hans... please, s-say something."

Her voice was breaking.

"I'm..." He could not finished the sentance. He would not.

Instead, he got to his feet and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

Hans stopped in a long hallway, dropping the sword that had been hanging at his side, letting it clatter to the floor. He stood for a moment, breathing heavily, then slammed his fist into the wall and swore. His brothers were right.

Hans was a coward. He couldn't show Anna his true identity, because she had loved him. It was just one of the few he had procured in his short time in Arendelle: noble, charming, selfless. But in truth, he was none. Always, he was always hiding behind false identities, never able to show his true face, because he was too afraid.

No. He would prove once and for all he meant something. He would claim Arendelle for his own, and it would belong to him.

Hans gave a long sigh, and began pacing back and forth. Then he stopped, looking out the window into the raging blizzard. Everything was falling into place. Anna was gone. The people trusted him. Elsa was out of control. All that remained was to kill the queen, and he could bring back summer. He could he something more than the puny outcasts of the Southern Isles. He could be a hero.

Then why was he hesitating?

Hans drove his elbows into the window sill and dug his hands into his hair, his throat closing up. Why? Why would his feet not move? Why couldn't he do this?

Slowly lifting his head to look at his reflection, he slowly whispered, "Because I hate what I have become. A monster."

"I love you, Hans."

Hans inwardly snarled at himself. She wouldn't love me if she saw who I've become. She loved the charmer. She didn't love me. Nobody ever has, and no one ever will.

Hans looked down at his gloved hands. His lip curled. In a moment he had ripped them off.

Grabbing his sword, he began to make his way down to the dungeon, his steps stiff, and his jaw clenched.

On his way down, Hans stopped and placed a hand on the hilt of his sword as he heard voices. His eyes became cold and his face hardened into a sneer as he recognized the Duke's voice.

"I don't care what they say! It's the only way to bring back summer. You must get rid of the sorceress!" he heard the Duke screech. "We'll all die if we don't do something! And," his voice lowered to a growl, "fail me this time, and you will regret it."

Not if I get there first.

Hans ran the rest of the way. When he arrived at Elsa's cell, he hesitated.

Coward, a voice whispered inside him. Show her who you really are: the one who will never be loved. Your true self.

Hans flung the door open.

He had to do it.

At the sound of the clanging door, Elsa's head jerked up. The moment she saw his face, ice swept over the walls, sharpening into spikes. Elsa stumbled back away from him, her eyes wide and wild. Ice started to crust over her shackles, as Hans pulled the sword from his sheath.

He must do it.

"Please! Don't!"

It was the only way to satisfy the desire, to fill the gaping hole inside of him.

He lifted his sword...

"NO!"

...and brought it crashing down on her icy chains, shattering them.

"Go." He couldn't look into her crystal-blue eyes. Just like her sister, he could not bring himself to meet her gaze. You have to get away from me, Elsa.

"Y-you're letting me go."

"Yes, now go!" You have to get away from me. Far, far away.

Hans looked down, his hands shaking as he held the blade that had almost killed the queen. He had been so close to completing his plans.

As he stood there, Hans heard the shackles around her hands falling to the floor, but he didn't turn to look. He stood with his back to her, glancing around, looking everywhere but at the young queen.

"Thank you, Hans."

Hans turned and looked up, at last meeting her eyes. They were full of forgiveness. It was almost as if she knew all he had been planning to do, and she forgave him. No. He was imagining it. If she knew... Hans sighed and turned away. "You're not safe here," he muttered.

Elsa gave the slightest of nods, as he glanced up at her again. "Get back," she said, her voice trembling. She raised her hands, aiming her palms at the wall. "And please. Take care of my sister."

Hans was nearly thown back as she blasted the wall to bits. A second later she disappeared into the blizzard. Hans stared after her, shivering in the cold.

Why had he spared her?

Perhaps it was just his cowardice. But perhaps... perhaps it was something more. Perhaps he was just tired of doing wrong. Perhaps some part of him desired to make up for all the mistakes he had made... for once in his life to do something right. But perhaps it was already too late for him.

He looked down at the sword. No more. Ice was already covering the blade, so he had little trouble snapping the it after he jammed the it into the crack between the wall and the floor. No more.

Hans stepped to the bench and collapsed on it, as the snow blasted into the cell. He watched with dull eyes, as the Duke's two men came bursting into the room.

"Where is the queen?" one of them demanded, placing his sword at Hans' chest.

Hans smirked and crossed his arms. "Got away." If there was one rewarding thing about his sparing of Elsa, it was the looks on the two men's faces. His slight amusement quickly disappeared, however.

"You let her get away?!" the other man roared, and raising his sword, stabbed it into Hans' shoulder before pulling it back out. "That was our only chance! Now we'll never catch her!"

Hans' face contorted at the pain that exploded in his shoulder, the flames licking down his arm.

"Come on," the first man shouted, climbing out of the hole. "Leave him. Maybe we can still catch her." Before Hans could react, they had disappeared.

"No, no... NO!" Hans snarled, grinding his teeth as he crashed to the ground, holding his shoulder. "I..." he struggled to his feet, lurching forward.

"Won't..." He crashed into the side of the hole, unsteady. "Let..." He stepped outside. "You... hurt... HER!"

For once it my life I will NOT run away. I will run, but I will run to save the queen.

He arrived to witness Anna saving her sister at the last moment from the Duke's sword. He watched silently, as Elsa wept the death of her only sister, the only family she had left.

If I died, Hans thought, would people even mourn?

The blood was trickling down his arm, and things were blurring before his eyes, but Hans didn't move. He couldn't tear himself away from the scene playing out on the frozen ice. He stood unblinking, his gaze unwavering.

He was the first to see Anna beginning to melt. Her sacrifice, it had been an act of true love. As Hans watched, his eyes widening at the scene before him, he felt something rising up inside him. Hope.

He began walking back to land, but it felt as if a burden were lightening.

Perhaps, he thought, perhaps it is not to late after all.

Hours later, standing in his horse Sitron's stall, Hans was still trying to process the events. He had arrived on land just in time before the ice that covered the fjord melted. He had quickly gone back inside the castle to get his shoulder treated by one of the dignitarys' wife, whom he had learned was a nurse, mumbling an exuse of how he had slipped on ice and accidentaly stabbed himself. The moment she was done, he had slipped out again, seeking to be alone with Sitron and his thoughts. The horse would always listen to him when no one else would, and seemed to able to sense his emotions.

"My only friend," Hans said quietly, rubbing the big stallion's face with his hand. Sitron nickered in response. "I wonder what they will say when they find out who I truely am."

But just who am I? Hans thought. I don't even think I know anymore.

"Hans?"

Hans looked up to see Elsa standing in the doorway. He took a step back, not knowing what to expect.

"Oh thank goodness you're alright," she breathed, then gestured to his arm, which was resting in a sling. "I heard what happened."

She cared. She cared about him, and he did not deserve it.

Hans' shoulders dropped, and he wrapped his uninjured arm around himself. "Don't you know what I've done?" he asked her. "Don't you know what I tried to to do? I was going kill you. I betrayed your sister and left her to die. I've been hiding all my life. I'm a monster. I don't deserve your kindness.

"You don't have to forgive me, I don't deserve your forgiveness, but just let me say this: I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." Hans sunk to the floor, feeling as though he couldn't hold the burden any longer. His voice was breaking, he was crumbling inside. "Please, I'm sorry for everything I've done to you."

If Elsa had turned and walked away without another word, Hans wouldn't have been surprised. But what she did do shocked him to the core. She knelt down beside him and slipped her arms around his shaking body, holding him.

"Oh Hans. I... I forgive you," she told him quietly. "You could have killed both of us, yes, you could have killed Anna yourself, but you didn't. You turned away from the darkness in your soul. You are more, so much more than what you think you are. I forgive you."

At her words, Hans felt the burnden lifted from his back, the chains tumbling away. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close.

"Thank you, Elsa."

For the first time in forever, he was forgiven. Elsa knew who he was, and she had forgiven him. And right now, that was all Hans needed to hear.